It comes like a rushing wind
A kind of right, okay-ish disguise
At first harsh, but then sweet-talks its way to have you finally deranged
Cravings for my surrender whilst the thoughts remain- they spiral, whine and complain
debating the risk of believing I’ll fail
It creeps, then it haunts
proclaiming that ‘I WILL finally give in’!
You think you have it tamed,
has me singing as I attempt to calm the raging tornado that shall not be named
waging, screaming inside
But It always shows it’s debility; you will notice its dread
Keeping secrets, forging ties, Masking tapes covering the lies
It’s been a while now. Yet it will not wail retreat.
There are no escapes here; no time for recess- only lay low and hope it wont repeat
So! who makes the rules and tells the tale of what your life should aiming-ly obtain?
whilst the mind proceeds to whine and complain
Surely there should be peace here…
but the mind is unchanged. It’s habits remain the same
The words parked on my throat as my heart discerns the convoy that’s brought.
The Mind infused with regret.
And the lie breeds, it stays, it disguises and enslaves.
The voice grows in height
demands that I will not taste freedom; only brokenness and defeat; that I am unloved, and should detest all that is right
This is the war narrated in ancient books.
The frantic escapes from memories that are looped by trauma’s past
it’s the looks that dare to deny the Truth standing right in front
Revealing the atrocious image of what’s always been inside
All along, it always seemed clear whose side i’m on- and who my heart will passionately defy: The one who was dethroned and cast down from on high
I remain appalled at my feeble mind
How can I forsake my Love, and choose to dance along with the night?
Wait! This is not the original plan i loved and committed to with all my might
This war is rough; it leaves you faithless with no sound mind, or refuge for all deafening regrets
Hiding the exchange made at midnight for ease with shrills and rampant revolts
Yes! it was at night when my thoughts met his.
When light seemed to have dimmed, and Truth hushed silent by the pain that results.
Embracing the bruised esteem and defiled eyes.
They behold the venom from the mouth’s lies. Don’t forget the bruised limbs that keep trying to stay the course
Tired, limping, searching for a shadow of ease
For the deceiving mind to finally show remorse… Just a glimpse of release
In search for hope as i stare at my fragile, weak opinion.
Silence became my new delight, the one I swore to, that one I will not deny.
Well! this war though, it is indeed rough
I may just have to age, with wrinkles making waves on my shivering, cold skin
But finally in the end, Although the drain and the apologies persistent on end
The Voice, so still and gentle
Responds with care that Actually, I May just win
Flashbacks of victories from before come declaring that there’s reason to choose this Life; to choose today and everyday,
The Voice who’s future is bright. Brighter than the sun’s brightest shine.
I must admit it takes a while,
but once Truth is given its mic, it assures all doubt and obscurity
Silencing the critical selves with All Authority
I’m appalled! Flabbergasted!
That the Truth, Way and Life, can silence it All at once.
Finally! I Rest.
I lay my head peacefully-tucked into love.
My bed is delicately made.
All thoughts surrendered to God