Suddenly! A Cardiac Arrest

Words have always visited quite regularly

Often present and always mindful

Especially when the heart presents ready and un-doubtful

Used to describe and respond somewhat to things

Many times relating to anything that will aim to appease

To soothe our itching ears for the worldly validations that we lust for and crave

Over time the craving persisted, making gods of what our gifts could do

So the world can see how amazing and beautiful we are

We let it consume us… So occupied

We soon learnt; all this will never fully satisfy

Your heart seems to have summoned us nearer

Calling us consistently from the deep, hither

It demands, invites, captivates and enslaves

We stutter and finally pause in surrender

Suddenly the heart wants to camp here, to stay a while and rest here

Brushing off the hesitancies to choose anything else but here

This is an unknown yet familiar territory

Risking vulnerability, It is Home, and oh so Heavenly

Your confident pursuit demands for our attention, loves so reckless

Never has our heart desired, and yet we lay here defenseless

Convinced that we should pause the fight and just make way

Compelled and drawn to perhaps reside for good, consider you and stay

The look you give we can’t avoid, it is so compellingly safe

It whispers to the shadows inside to surrender at its relentless pursuit

oh! Tell us please, how do we now behave?

Assured by your steady and harmless grip

Firm enough to embrace the nuanced complexities apparent on our face

The cardiac arrest has begun- for some, a bit terrifying to embrace

Your roar so captivating- leading us here, Home again.

You have our attention; silenced at last; we are Listening

What a strange and beautiful phenomenon

Lord! Here we are, Hearts locked down; considering You Again!

Receive our Repentance!

Unraveled

He sees right through my vulnerable and doubtful eyes

Stares boldly into me with certainty until all my fear dies

Luring the hidden truths that preferred the shade all this while- no lies!

Truth beheld the observable scars,

convinced that it’s design to fall rightfully into His loving arms

To leave all that’s behind, betrothed only to Him with no lingering ties

He gently brought me to this place to graciously dine

Weakening my stubborn walls to allow love finally

into these nervous parts of mine

It’s obvious I’m drawn to His bright and dazzling gaze

With piercing words woven passionately in perfect phrase

And all the smiles he freely gives with such benevolent grace

drawn by his calming countenance until my heart is willingly changed

Un-embittered, unrestrained, and freely surrendered

He waits patiently for any wall still hardened to fall eventually

To then come and make home with me indefinitely

With sterling grit and strength so majestically

Oh!

He affects my inside, Perfect and Beautifully

Tapestry

Moments of tension that inevitably invade our spaces

beckoning and summoning us inward

They surround and engulf the very thoughts

that soberly remind the heart to not hasten forward

to pause and look through past traumas 

Window-shops through glass doors that shutter

when recalling the pain and trembling that occasionally cascade under

They beheld sorrow’s embrace.

When relief had to realise its last breath

caressed and lulled into Glory’s face.

 They all are part of the human experience

they are welcomed, invited into the body’s chambers.

remembrance of the sighs that echo through unforgotten moments

they reminisce of the time before our loved ones crossed over

before they continued to live into eternity. 

 It is only a brief adjourn till we meet again Hopefully.

Till we glory and dine with the angelic into majestic presence

But still…

The heart pounds and it groans.

This Earth so filled with frolic happenings and brief apologies

it cannot reconcile the sobbing mind to grasp destiny’s fullest intent.  

Man will forever search for understanding; for clarity into the outcome of adversity’s cause

Only Yawheh can help construe its mystery

Only He can create Hope and suggest Peace indefinitely,

till the memory of death’s sting cannot overcome or overwhelm me.

 Even in the lows, He still surrounds us faithfully

Life itself in this moment, is but Tapestry!  

Featured image by, Pieter Kirstein

Endless Embrace

She will forever remember

even when all is forgotten; His Beauty

Let her once more busk in His glorious Being

His kisses cure any and every soul.
Releases tears so heavy,

they fall like waterworks at His feet.

She is forever glued to His sight.

The ‘Behold’ weaves her tightly into Grace

Even now, she sits here revered and embraced

completely undone by His Love

The War Inside

It comes like a rushing wind

A kind of right, okay-ish disguise

At first harsh, but then sweet-talks its way to have you finally deranged

Cravings for my surrender whilst the thoughts remain- they spiral, whine and complain

debating the risk of believing I’ll fail

It creeps, then it haunts

proclaiming that ‘I WILL finally give in’!

 

You think you have it tamed,

has me singing as I attempt to calm the raging tornado that shall not be named

waging, screaming inside

But It always shows it’s debility; you will notice its dread

Keeping secrets, forging ties, Masking tapes covering the lies

 

It’s been a while now. Yet it will not wail retreat.

There are no escapes here; no time for recess- only lay low and hope it wont repeat

So! who makes the rules and tells the tale of what your life should aiming-ly obtain?

whilst the mind proceeds to whine and complain

 

Surely there should be peace here…

but the mind is unchanged. It’s habits remain the same

The words parked on my throat as my heart discerns the convoy that’s brought.

The Mind infused with regret.

And the lie breeds, it stays, it disguises and enslaves.

 

The voice grows in height

demands that I will not taste freedom; only brokenness and defeat; that I am unloved, and should  detest all that is right

This is the war narrated in ancient books.

The frantic escapes from memories that are looped by trauma’s past

it’s the looks that dare to deny the Truth standing right in front

Revealing the atrocious image of what’s always been inside

 

All along, it always seemed clear whose side i’m on- and who my heart will passionately defy: The one who was dethroned and cast down from on high

 

I remain appalled at my feeble mind

How can I forsake my Love, and choose to dance along with the night?

Wait! This is not the original plan i loved and committed to with all my might

This war is rough; it leaves you faithless with no sound mind, or refuge for all deafening regrets

Hiding the exchange made at midnight for ease with shrills and rampant revolts

Yes! it was at night when my thoughts met his.

When light seemed to have dimmed, and Truth hushed silent by the pain that results.

 

Embracing the bruised esteem and defiled eyes.

They behold the venom from the mouth’s lies. Don’t forget the bruised limbs that keep trying to stay the course

Tired, limping, searching for a shadow of ease

For the deceiving mind to finally show remorse… Just a glimpse of release

In search for hope as i stare at my fragile, weak opinion.

Silence became my new delight, the one I swore to, that one I will not deny.

 

Well! this war though, it is indeed rough

I may just have to age, with wrinkles making waves on my shivering, cold skin

But finally in the end, Although the drain and the apologies persistent on end

The Voice, so still and gentle

Responds with care that Actually, I May just win

Flashbacks of victories from before come declaring that there’s reason to choose this Life; to choose today and everyday,

The Voice who’s future is bright. Brighter than the sun’s brightest shine.

 

I must admit it takes a while,

but once Truth is given its mic, it assures all doubt and obscurity

Silencing the critical selves with All Authority 

I’m appalled! Flabbergasted!

That the Truth, Way and Life, can silence it All at once.

 

Finally! I Rest.

I lay my head peacefully-tucked into love.

My bed is delicately made.

All thoughts surrendered to God

 

“Lord, it is not I; It is this woman you gave me”

The voice walked the garden in search for us,

That place hidden in love, it was tailored and planned for us,

Him whose name is Holy, I never thought we’d trade His word for lies

We laid that day, together convincing ourselves we’ll hide

Flesh of your flesh! you summoned me to be yours

for love’s sake we fought

yet it was I to blame, it was all my fault

 

In the beginning, you led me strong

There was nothing shady, nothing wrong

I even trusted you’d see that I’m Yours,

to see how I am well suited, fit for you

But You chose the cowards’ way,

Oh! We killed us Adam, by choosing our own way

 

I am Bruised flesh, yes, but still Your flesh

You had an exchange with serpent that day

Convinced you that I was to be betrayed

Perhaps serpent said you’d be pardoned, or even better rewarded

If you placed the blame on me instead

But Oh! I broke that day, so my heart remained guarded

 

Bone of your bones!

I remember your gaze

You had the stench of betrayal surrounding your smile

with the apple still stuck on your throat

you denied me as your wife,

and now… we behold all that calamity has brought

From that day I died, and I die still everyday

 

Stripped off my glory I wait,

Praying that Yahweh will present me to you again

to put you back to sleep again

and have you see my wonder through His eyes

Flesh of your flesh!

Adam, You denied me again.

 

You look at me through pains eye

I wish I could caress, and nurse your wounded strength and perverted mind

To revive your broken ego and tired brisk

I am betrothed to fear and dread tonight

Lest my heart in your hands is a risk

 

Your eyes remain layered with peril

For you do not see me as good

Please weep with me today

Please allow my death to cause remorse

To have you turn to Mercy’s Face and stay

 

I am flesh! Today Adam, I bleed

I wouldn’t have to bleed

If only you knew to kneel

to surrender to the one who’ll heal

To the One who’d help you lead

Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones

PLEASE! Do not Lord over me!

Hidden Parts

 

A stranger in these parts,

A walk so graceless and unkind

Alertly reverting back to the familiar, just a moment to unwind

She knows in her heart, these parts are the darkest kind

 

The road smells of pain, with cold-like breeze blowing her back unavoidably

sensing the void, as though peace had left indefinitely

It is best to look down, so no one spots the sobbing

Lest they see through her, see how she is now left with empty

 

Masked tears fill up, with ocean-like waves cascading,

So unrestrained,

Recognizing swiftly how indefensibly she now behaves

In these parts,

All beat up and dry, no more faith-like remarks

 

Hearing tales told with broken rhymes,

Even to Her they sound just like lies

Echoes heard from corner paths, sounds of footsteps behind her rise

Still she demands silence instead, for at least then judgment is mild

 

In these hidden parts,

Light breaks briskly through the dark

A flash light from down the road she beholds

But pride weaves onto her face, proclaiming in agony “I will not yield”!

 

In the meantime love songs from within her erupt; she hears a familiar tune, a gracious melody

A knowing in her spirit that she belongs somewhere else,

She will sing the song till the chorus part,

Love will resolve her parts, relentlessly, it will pursue through the dark

 

The enemy keeps lurking, begging for a chance to deceive her heart,

Her and all the fired-up, devoted ones

He lulls her into staying, a somewhat benevolent charge to run the streets

All her favourite things he promises to appease

Staring, he spoke with an accent heavy with lies

She looked and saw that silence betrayed her again,

and so she remembers and chooses to rise

 

Memories of joy flashing back to mind

What optometry! There lies the broken crown

Laying with shredded pieces of God’s word

Faith had long left the yard, it was burnt profound

And so a praise song is sung once again, to remind the heart to stop-

to ponder upon His grace

 

Love letters written again, so the soul is no more bereft

Whispers in the dark become silenced to death; utterly obliterated

In God she’s revived, celebrated and safely kept

All glory to Jesus, Everything is put in place

 

Revealed parts are subject to light

In secret she knows she dies,

Now walking in the light, gazing upon the glorious shine found on the shore,

 

Overcome by her true smile…

She will never again conceal!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summoned

 

Let praises rise, Let the trumpets sound

For they that revere the Lord, the upright and noble have come

Dressed in fine linen, their garment so white and bright

Come forth oh Woman! you who with her tears bathe the young men and women stricken and drenched in sin,

they long for better days…for a rather kind gaze

Come forth oh Man, bearing the strength and valor of Kings.

With your pursuit you chase the sun to the dusk, and watch with tireless eyes at the stars as they shine even in the dark

You call on the morning like a sure prophet

believing God’s word, even to the very end of days

With a lullaby she sings to the night so dark, her young find comfort

True strength is her garment; she wears it day and night to stand for what is right

He also makes way, son of Adam. He looks up now even after the fall.

lifting his hands as though beholding glory’s sight

He stretches and returns to his backbone

He is taught to love her again… Eve his first love, even Eden is yet to tell of their mirrored devout.

Together they renounce injustices preying on the weak

Summoned to Fight!

They are the Lord’s delight.

In the Morning as she wakes, she utters peace from her careful warm lips

Jesus the perfect gentleman and friend;

HE is her guide.

Oh, What wisdom proceeds him. like one who was taught by the Lord all night long

They both glow like the sunrays of the dawn

preparing the day like those with purposeful Strive.

They hush the storms inside.

Saying to the little ones; broken and bruised for what their fore fathers have done

Hush little ones, it will be all right…

Hush! Young lad, for every harm inflicted and influences imposed that take away your peace in the night;

for the abuse you have suffered and had to endure

God has never left your sight.

Woman rise to your feet! Acknowledge the righteous seed you carry in you womb

Such dignity you so heavily possess

Come forth Hannah, you are no longer barren.

Sing your praises now, go on! Mourn no longer, for God has heard your cry.

Your intercessions have not been in vain.

Rise mighty men! once cast down but now made strong in Christ

draw your swords once more

Your rider leads you forth

Hush! For every pain felt and every head bowed unto God and sorrows felt…

God is your Comforter.

He is your Joy.

Make way to the throne, The King calls you FORTH.

Await Further Instruction…

 

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord” [Psalm 27:14, ESV]

Even in this time, God has made known to us His plan to be in covenant and in relationship with Him. It is for this reason that His pursuit of us is endless, tireless and without doubt. His perfect love continues to inspire us and generations to come to follow after His lead and also to learn patience – to wait for God even in the darkest of moments. The Lord has prompted my spirit to learn to search motive and the intent of my willingness and reasons to serve. It should be easy to respond to this, as I have mentioned the love of God being the primary factor propelling a reciprocal reaction. However, I submit to you that it is all the same more intentional, needing a committed and purposeful reaction. For we do not believe and fight blindly, rather we are careful to listen to the strategy God encourages us to adopt.

Indeed, God is the one to teach us to live patiently, loving and merciful with Himself and in fellowship (see Galatians 5:22). Yet, there is a stage of mature walking with Lord, where we begin understand and grasp the reason for Christ’s demonstration of His love; His sacrificial motif of pursuit and also the selfless nature of His servant leadership. We are to not only adhere to His call as the body of Christ, but furthermore, we need to pray for understanding and wisdom do remain rooted in Love. This is what makes covenant relationship in marriage so imperative. It not only challenges both individuals to live selflessly in love and respect for one another, but it reveals (hopefully through the Holy’s Spirit’s leading) reverence and honour of the covenant relationship dedicated to God.

There’s an urgency to implore ‘Kingdom-mindedness’ in all things relational. I argue that we need the Holy Spirit to teach us this discipline; we need His counsel and non-judgemental chastisement in love to reveal to us our true character. In so doing we are able to clearly see where we lack in grit, stewardship and character. Scripture makes it clear to us that the reason we continuously fail is because we do not acknowledge Him who is fully capable and mighty. (Psalm 30:6) We also fail because we think we can make it without Him- ‘Hilarious truth and trap we constantly find ourselves falling into’. We have the aid of the Spirit of God for the mere reason that righteousness (Being in right standing with God) can only be attained through Jesus Christ alone. I pray that in understanding this we can swallow our pride and repent! To see Him (the one deserving of the Glory) allowing Him to make us, by His Spirit worthy and able to obey.

Having said that, it is with great conviction that I implore you to submit God; the one who ‘knows the end from the beginning’. Focus should be placed back on the Master, who by His own spirit has called us to rule and conquer. Not to be reactive out of fear, as though we have no Maker who died to demonstrate His undying Love for us- Rose again to stare passionately at us in the face to confess His admiration fervently. What benevolence and grace! He is the perfect gentleman. And so in knowing this reality, we must have patient hearts. Being rooted and not wayward, tossed to and fro without direction like nomads.

Believing that His perfect love can never fail should lead us to wrestle with the silent, awkward moments of the ‘wait’.   Waiting! With hearts full of faith and a readiness to pray, ALWAYS!  It is the waiting period that will reveal how much faith we have to believe His word. The waiting reveals our maturity and ability to remain faithful. The church of Christ has become distracted by so much; by the ‘busyness’ that steals and diminishes our savoured moments with the Lord. In our attempting ‘religious comebacks’ to life’s eminent predicaments, we show to be unfit for battle (having plastic swords) and a broken shield as we fail to remain true in the ‘working out of our faith’. The Christian journey does not have the luxury to pretend, whilst people remain in dire need for Truth (Jesus) – we cannot ‘not’ care.

The sooner we realise that principalities and forces of darkness are never intimidated by the religious acts we do, but rather they wail and tremble before authentic worship in Truth (which is consistent); The more calmer we will become, knowing that we can construe the idea that we never labour for ‘right standing with God’- rather, we receive it through Grace, by faith in our Lord Jesus. Therefore, brethren  we have exhausted every excuse that ever existed for us to not take position and  ‘watch and pray’ as the True church of God ought to; called in such dark times to be the light that we are so rightfully are; to WAIT for God to lead us to the next step.

Waiting patiently for further instruction; Jesus, our King and Saviour …

To Him is all glory that’s due His name.

 

 

So, you’re really gone…?

It’s been a while now

Since I’ve thought of you

Maybe I do every second,

There’s just insufficient expression of emotion

System’s interrupted, it pains to go on

I know my smile makes you glad- So I force it out, but it never last for long

 

Death robbed me of you; your face always eased my load

Like a thief in the night, breath failed to come through

Left you hanging, waiting for oxygen to bend over – and consider you again

The room all the more cold

I missed the class that teaches ‘logic and faith after a loved one passed’

 

But it will get better, the nights will be more polite, I was told

Laying every piece, broken, So God can gently mold

A delicate design, strong yet so easily made fragile

I was still trying to find words, to fully express my love for you

I guess my search was cut too soon

 

Searching for words outside my own vocabulary,

But nothing comes close, it’s only a few

Attempts to define the brokenness inside, Even I can’t stand the view

So I mellow over the speech I was yet to recite, with you I never had to gloat

Like a broken record, repetitions of sorrow erupting… playing the same note

 

Interrupted, abruptly

In the middle of a sentence, there’s no more courage to verbalize

Tongue twisters tormenting like twirling tornadoes

My speech deformed, I try to speak… I swear I do

To recall the poetry you recited

Sounds of love

 

So be calm my deranged tongue, God will give speech therapy

He visits often my lonely isle and lain

I will speak normal again

 

The illness is caused by the unspoken thoughts meant for you

I am so sorry my heart failed to speak

For every heart beat, may heaven translate to you…

Decoding alien sounds my brain often transmits.

So, no more running into unforgiveable walls

Commitment to pretences always led to lament-full calls

Pointless bargains with imperfection,

The awful justifications over misguided thoughts

 

I know I will hurt for some time still,

Even as Heaven is now your home,

But see my heart struggles to let you go

 

I pray,

That I may embody your lessons, inherit your laugh

Mirrors tell that you’re right in front of me,

They whisper the close resemblance I have of you

So I see me… And there YOU are

Low budget remix of God’s story for us.

Christ will see me through

He is the perfect fit and absolute likeness of us

 

So there’s hope you see!

 

I remember you today,

Even as pain shouts louder than my skewed vocabulary

Hands raised, knees bent, head bowed

…The creator brings strength!